San Stefanos Online ~ North West Corfu
Welcome to San Stefanos (NW Corfu) => Out and About => Topic started by: don on May 04, 2009, 11:48:56 PM
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They're Back! Those wonderful Church Bulletins! Thank God for church ladies with typewriters. These sentences (with all the BLOOPERS) actually appeared in church bulletins or were announced in church services:
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The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals.
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The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'
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Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands.
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Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say 'Hell' to someone who doesn't care much about you.
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Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help.
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Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.
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For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
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Next Thursday there will be tryouts for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
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A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
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At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice.
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Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
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Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
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Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
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The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
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Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
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The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
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This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
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Ladies Bible Study will be held Thursday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch in the Fellowship Hall after the B. S. Is done.
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The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday..
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Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door...
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The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
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Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
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The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours!
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Priceless as usual Don :D ;D
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Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!
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Never been inside the church. Is it open all day or only at certain times?
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Do they have candles to light in the church in San Stefanos?
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Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!
Is there a dress code for entering the Church Tony? ie: are you allowed in, in shorts, or in my wife's case a sarong??
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Talking of churches - Any new visitors should take a peek inside the local church.
All visitors are usually welcome and it is a brilliant sight inside!!
Is there a dress code for entering the Church Tony? ie: are you allowed in, in shorts, or in my wife's case a sarong??
I would imagine that shoulders have to be covered up at least
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Probably nun of those!
-
whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Got it in one.... That's an idea, we could start a guess where's the avatar comp!
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
OK
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Got it in one.... That's an idea, we could start a guess where's the avatar comp!
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Not on topic, so apologies.
Some priceless remarks though
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE
Bamber Gascoigne: What was Ghandi's first name?
Contestant: Goosey, Goosey?
THE WEAKEST LINK
Anne Robinson: In traffic, what "J" is where two roads meet?
Contestant: Jool carriageway.
Anne Robinson: Which Italian city is overlooked by Vesuvius?
Contestant: Bombay.
Anne Robinson: What insect is commonly found hovering above lakes?
Contestant: Crocodiles.
Anne Robinson: Wh...?
Contestant (interrupting): Pass!
Anne Robinson: In olden times, what were minstrels, travelling entertainers or chocolate salesmen?
Contestant: Chocolate salesmen.
Anne Robinson: The Bible, the New Testament. The Four Gospels were written by Matthew, Mark, Luke and...?
Contestant: (long pause) Joe?
Anne Robinson: Who was a famous Indian leader, whose name begins with G, revered by millions, who was assassinated and received a state funeral?
Contestant: Geronimo!
NATIONAL LOTTERY JET SET
Eamonn Holmes: What's the name of the playwright commonly known by the initials G.B.S.?
Contestant: William Shakespeare.
CHRIS SEARLE SHOW, BBC BRISTOL
Searle: In which European country is Mount Etna?
Caller: Japan.
Searle: I did say which European country, so in case you didn't hear that, I can let you try again.
Caller: Er... Mexico?
FAMILY FORTUNES
1. Something a blind man might use? - A Sword.
2. A song with the word Moon in the title? - Blue Suede Moon.
3. Name the capital of France? - F.
4. Name a bird with a long Neck? - Naomi Campbell.
5. Name an occupation where you might need a torch? - A burglar.
6. Where is the Taj Mahal? - Opposite the Dental Hospital.
7. What is Hitler's first name? - Heil.
8. A famous Scotsman? - Jock.
9. Some famous brothers? - Bonnie and Clyde.
10. A dangerous race? - The Arabs.
11. Something that floats in a bath? - Water.
12. An item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers? - A horse.
13. Something you wear on a beach? - A deckchair.
14. A famous Royal? - Mail.
15. Something that flies that doesn't have an engine? - A bicycle with wings.
16. A famous bridge? - The Bridge Over Troubled Waters.
17. Something a cat does? - Goes to the toilet.
18. Something you do in the bathroom? - Decorate.
19. A method of securing your home? - Put the kettle on.
20. Something associated with pigs? - The Police.
21. A sign of the Zodiac? - April.
22. Something people might be allergic to? - Skiing.
23. Something you do before you go to bed? - Sleep.
24. Something you put on walls? - A roof.
25. Something slippery? - A conman.
26. A kind of ache? - A fillet of fish.
27. A jacket potato topping? - Jam.
28. A food that can be brown or white? - A potato.
29. Something sold by gypsies? - Bananas.
30. Something red? - My sweater.
RADIO LINCS PHONE-IN
Presenter: Which is the largest Spanish-speaking country in the world?
Contestant: Barcelona.
Presenter: I was really after the name of a country.
Contestant: I'm sorry, I don't know the names of any countries in Spain.
STEVE WRIGHT SHOW, RADIO 2
Wright: On which continent would you find the River Danube?
Contestant: India.
Wright: What is the Italian word for motorway?
Contestant: Espresso.
Wright: What is the capital of Australia? And it's not Sydney.
Contestant: Sydney.
THIS MORNING
Judy Finnegan: The American TV show 'The Sopranos' is about opera. True or false?
Contestant: True?
Judy Finnegan: No, actually, it's about the Mafia. But it is an American TV show,so I'll give you that.
BBC RADIO NEWCASTLE
Paul Wappat: How long did the Six Day War between Egypt and Israel last?
Contestant (after long pause): Fourteen days.
BOB HOPE BIRTHDAY QUIZ, LBC
Presenter: Bob Hope was the fifth of how many sons?
Contestant: Four.
BBC GMR, PHIL WOOD SHOW
Wood: What "K" could be described as the Islamic Bible?
Contestant: Er...
Wood: It's got two syllables... Kor...
Contestant: Blimey?
Wood: Ha ha ha ha no. The past participle of run...
Contestant: (Silence)
Wood: OK, try it another way. Today I run, yesterday I...
Contestant: Walked?
DARYL'S DRIVETIME, VIRGIN RADIO
Daryl Denham: In which country would you spend shekels?
Contestant: Holland?
Daryl Denham: Try the next letter of the alphabet.
Contestant: Iceland? Ireland?
Daryl Denham (helpfully): It's a bad line. Did you say Israel?
Contestant: No.
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whenever i have been in there has been no-one there but i do cover up. There are votive candles if you want to light one. It really is worth a look. I don't know if ts always open but every time i have been there it has been open.
Thanks Stressed - yes to candles and a donation.
Respect should be shown and cover up a little - otherwise all welcome!!
OK
Glad about the candles - I want to light one this year for my Mum :)
Linda does that as well!!
But - don't forget - All the nice girls love a candle! - or was that a sailor?? LOL
Probably nun of those!
Where is your Avatar Pic - is that Stamatis Apts?
Got it in one.... That's an idea, we could start a guess where's the avatar comp!
I note that the Avatars were never re-enabled!!