San Stefanos Online ~ North West Corfu

I always book if possible. It's another stress factor out of the way en route to the airport - and particularly coming back when you have an airport with vast sweaty queues of people carrying stuffed donkeys and bags full of two start Metexa.

We always have annual cover. If you are making multiple trips, particularly outside Europe, it's good value, and always in with the passports.

Can I have the TV rights? It's about time we did an Adams Family remake!

Well, it should be:

Άγιος Στέφανος

but I suppose the jury's out on whether the Greek phi should be f of ph!

I don't like "san" for "Agios! - too Spanish. It's the only Greek place I know of that's been latinised. If it were Crete it would be Ag Steph...

We would never even think of doing anything other than self-catering. I'd be very surprised if there wasn't a loo-roll in the bathroom, but if it's a matter of concern, stick one in the suitcase.

Put some yoghurt in the fridge and get some peaches, apricots, honey, and first one up wanders along to the bakery to get some fresh, warm yeasty bread. Perfect!

I've stayed in some the of best hotels in the world (somebody else picking up the bill) and I wouldn't swap (say) having a lackey open every door for me in the Dolder Grand in Zurich with the pleasure of doing absolutely what we feel like, when we feel like it, in the wonderful morning and evening light.

Tea-bags. That's what we take. Tea-bags outside the UK are rubbish. We do like a nice cup of tea in the morning. It's quite hard to compute the exact number of tea-bags needed, and we will probably spend a few hours arguing, with calculator in hand.

So my advice is - those things that are vital, stick in the bag, just for the secure knowledge that you have them.

At least I'll be able to recognise Don, because he'll be wearing a frock. Allegedly.

What did you say, "Sandra"?

I think I'd better load a few psychiatric textbooks into my e-book before we leave.

Multiple personalities is a fascinating phenomenon!