Thou shallt not hold any other resort above SS
Do not bear false witness at any time
Thou must covet thy neighbours arse but do it discretely
Thou must not steal thy neighbours beach hed
Thou must not urinate in the sea,become lewd or drunken
Thou must attempt to visit SS at least twice each year
thou must recite the holy anthem once a day before sunset
Those seeking enlightenment under the mentoring of a Grand Mattress must first undertake certain trials,these trials are not only sacred they are secret, however one who has witnessed some of them reports that cucumbers, vaseline,sunglasses,hidden camera's and pointy sticks are involved, and to reveal them is to incur the wrath of the High Mattresses, you will be buried in the Golden Sand up to your neck at high tide
The Holy Anthem
nb - Novices should recite this on their balcony at 8pm before the Taverna Ritual begins
Tomorrow - and at great danger to my life I reveal the Holy Anthem and the 7 rituals of St Georgios